The Coaching Habit – a great book for everyone who leads

The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay StanierThe Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier (CEO of Box of Crayons) is super practical, super funny and easy to implement immediately and in small chunks. In fact, he also has a video that goes with each chapter so if you prefer watching to reading you can still get all that practical advice without having to turn pages.

Who is The Coaching Habit for?

It’s for busy managers and leaders who want to be “coaching” their employees and helping them develop their potential. The key word is “busy.” Stanier provides seven questions for managers to ask and gives you scenarios to understand how asking these questions might play out. He makes you think about what moments might trigger the need for one of these questions, and help you prepare for how you want to coach differently.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of management and coaching books out there. If you’re like me, it makes you feel a bit panicky about all that knowledge you haven’t yet absorbed. This book is a great place to start and might be all you need for a long time! Stanier knows you’re busy, knows you don’t have time to implement huge complex changes. He even gives you some great tips about how to build your coaching habit so that it feels doable and really sticks.

Did I mention this book has a really fun readable layout is absolutely hilarious?

What is The Coaching Habit about?

Stanier suggests that most of us spend too much time in meetings or coaching sessions handing out advice that won’t get followed anyway. He recommends sticking with some concise questions to get to the real issue and solve that in less time. The seven questions are really simple (sometimes the most simple things are most effective right?):

  1. The Kickstart Question: What’s on your mind?
  2. The AWE Question: And What Else?
  3. The Focus Question: What’s the real challenge here for you?
  4. The Foundation Question: What do you want?
  5. The Lazy Question: How can I help?
  6. The Strategic Question: If you’re saying Yes to this, what are you saying No to?
  7. The Learning Question: What was most useful for you?

You can be a great coach without letting it eat up your whole day. If you’ve felt overwhelmed with all the options, this book is a great place to start. Read it fast, try one thing today already and see how it works!

**The link to Amazon is an affiliate link!**

Work with your hands

work with your hands poster

“Everybody isn’t a lawyer or doctor. Teach kids it’s ok to work with your hands and build cool things.” I ran across this poster on LinkedIn last week (you can see it here) and a friend commented that it’s a great time to be in the trades.

Later she wrote me how frustrating it is that people seem to think “. . . being a tradesmen is a secondary dream or something to fall back on if you don’t make it as a doctor . . . It seems the general LI public is really ignorant as to the education and commitment that it takes to be successful in a trade and that it’s not something to be taken lightly. It’s like if you don’t work at a keyboard or on a phone, that you’re less of a professional.

  • The fact is HVAC, plumbing, electrical and other tradesPEOPLE do go to college and are required like many professions to obtain annual CEU’s and certifications.
  • The fact also is that plumbers can expect to earn $80-100k annually.
  • The fact also is that we have a terrible lack of tradespeople available and they are now in a position to call the shots in regards to benefits, schedules and perks.

I don’t think that sounds like something that is a ‘fall back’ . . . I’m seriously disturbed by the attitude of people who clearly consider working with their hands lower in some way . . . and we’re going to find ourselves in a dire situation because we haven’t fostered the trades.”

Her comments reminded me immediately of Shop Class as Soulcraft by Matthew Crawford. I’ve quoted him before on the blog (here and here and here). He’s a PhD who became a motorcycle mechanic. He documents how we have degraded work over time by separating thinking and doing. This is a false separation, as my friend knows. In real work, you can’t separate mental and manual function. Mechanics, plumbers and general contractors constantly confront situations that require diagnosis and good judgment. It’s super insulting that we imagine these people are somehow less intelligent than a banker.

If thinking is bound up with action, then the task of getting an adequate grasp on the world, intellectually, depends on our doing stuff in it. Shop Class as Soulcraft p. 164

Work with Your Hands

Nothing beats experience. When you work with your hands, you see what works and what doesn’t. There’s something tangible in front of you and you get immediate feedback on your progress. You see what you have accomplished. This is highly rewarding to most of us. Who has experienced the feeling that you’ve accomplished more cleaning out your garage then you did all week at work?

There are a couple reasons for this:

  1. We see the whole picture. It’s easy to grasp how our efforts contributed. We can see real differences!
  2. We complete a whole project instead of just filling a desk for a certain amount of hours.

I’m sure you could think of more. If you want meaningful work, it’s important to consider how important tradespeople are to our society. They might not get the respect they deserve, but if you run their jobs through Daniel Pink’s Drive test, they win every time. Autonomy? Check. Mastery? Check. Purpose? Check.

Let’s work on erasing the hierarchy of jobs and instead celebrate the diversity of careers. The next generation needs to know all their options.

There is Life After College: A must- read for all!

life after college
this is an affiliate link!

My library hold on There is Life After College by Jeffrey Selingo right after my last blog post. Wow, what perfect timing! You should put it on hold too. Why? Whether you’re a parent, teacher, counselor, student, professor or new graduate, there will be something here for you. A college coach recommended this book in her seminar at my Birkman conference. Selingo identifies three common paths for students: the Sprinters, Wanderers and Stragglers and I found it fascinating that this coach has found markers in the Birkman reports that predict which path students are likely to take.

But that’s not really the point today. The point is this book has information and advice you probably need. You might be a parent frustrated with your kid’s “failure to launch.” Read this book. You might be a graduating high school senior who is unsure about the next step. Read this book. You might be a college administrator trying to figure out what other classes or opportunities the students needs to “succeed.” Read this book.

Life After College

Selingo helpfully describes the current post-college challenges in our economy. Parents, it’s not all your kid. The system has issues too! He provides tons of concrete tips for students on how best to navigate college and understand how employers hire. He discusses internships, alternative learning avenues and hands-on experiences. It’s all the stuff we don’t tend to think about when we’re just starting college. How employers hire and what they’re really looking for.

This kind of book really resonates with me because it asks us to take a good hard look at all our assumptions. So often we live like lemmings just being funneled through the system because that’s just easier. As a result, we don’t stop to ask why we’re doing what we’re doing and if it’s really the best route. He clarifies how our ingrained patterns of doing college and looking for jobs aren’t really serving us anymore. Selingo jolts us out of our rut and helps us do some needed re-evaluation at the macro level. I love this because it’s similar to what I’m trying to do at the micro level with individual students and their families as they figure out their college and career direction.

Have you read it? What were your takeaways?

Decision-Making and the Will of God

Decision Making and the Will of God Today, I’m doing one of my favourite kinds of posts: a book review. It’s helping me ease back into the practice of blogging – I’m feeling rusty. Plus, I really want you to know about this book because I loved it! It’s called Decision-Making and the Will of God by Garry Friesen and J. Robin Maxson. I don’t know how it hadn’t crossed my path yet as it’s somewhat of a classic (I read the 25th Anniversary edition). Thankfully, it was recommended to me recently and now I get to recommend it to you!

Decision-making can be extremely stressful. Who hasn’t felt the pressure of making a good decision? Especially about BIG items like what to do with your life or who to marry. If those are questions you’re struggling with, this book is an excellent aide in helping you understand a biblical model for making decisions.

In Part 1 & 2, Friesen critiques what he calls the traditional view of decision-making. He defines it like this:

  • Premise: For each of our decisions, God has a perfect plan or will. 
  • Purpose: The goal of the believer is to discover God’s individual will and make decisions in accordance with it. 
  • Process: The believer interprets inner impressions and outward signs, which the Holy Spirit uses to communicate God’s individual will.
  • Proof: The confirmation that one has correctly discerned the individual will of God comes from an inner sense of peace and outward (successful) results of the decision. 

I really appreciated how well he articulated these points – most of us haven’t articulated our thoughts around decision-making this clearly and once they are stated this way, you immediately start to see the flaws in them. Friesen thoroughly annihilates this position with verse-by-verse commentary. This was very helpful for me as I have always had issues with this view of decision-making but wasn’t necessarily able to put a finger on what bothered me, much less provide evidence for why there was a problem.

Part 3 explains the alternative model to the “traditional” view that Friesen proposes. He calls it “The way of wisdom” and exhaustively backs up the principles (see below) with scriptural examples.

  1. Where God commands, we must obey. 
  2. Where there is no command, God gives us freedom (and responsibility) to choose. 
  3. Where there is no comman, God gives us wisdom to choose. 
  4. When we have chosen what is moral and wise, we must trust the sovereign God to work all the details together for good. 

After that, it just keeps getting better. In Part 4, Friesen does us all a huge favor and provides chapters discussing what it looks like to make wise decisions in major areas of our lives like marriage, ministry, missions and giving. He takes the model from the abstract to the concrete with very practical examples.

I especially appreciated the chapters on “Wisdom When Christians Differ” and “Weaker Brothers, Pharisees, and Servants.” He stresses the importance of taking the time to “cultivate your own convictions” in areas of freedom that are often up for debate.

Even the appendices have lots to offer: He reviews other books on decision-making and God’s will, provides some practical tools for memorizing Scripture and explains how to hold “Bible Marathons” where you read large chunks of the Bible in one sitting.

At 526 pages, it’s a thick book so it might feel too intimidating to open. Trust me, it’s very easy to read and even if you don’t have time to read it all, going through all of the concise, logical, bullet-point summaries will still give you plenty to consider.

Have you read Decision-Making and the Will of God? What did you think?

Best Reads of 2013

Well, 2013 is drawing to a close and I thought I’d give you a look at my top reads this year. As I sorted the list I realized these selections are quite good indicators of the areas of life I dwell on the most these days: faith, parenting and work. And of course, I tend to look at all of these things in the context of calling.

Faith/Spiritual Living

favourite reads 2013The Prodigal God by Tim Keller. What a powerful little book. This is one of those short reads that you should probably spend a long time reading. It was a big eye-opener for me to realize I am definitely the older brother in this parable. I’m not sure I had ever heard anyone really talk much about the older brother, especially to show how he is equally lost – that it’s a parable of two lost sons, not just one.

favourite reads 2013The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I wrote a little about this book here. It might seem like a typical self-help book but goes much deeper because Brown happens to be a research professor on powerful topics like shame and vulnerability, fear and courage and worthiness. She shares very personal stories to demonstrate this vulnerability and gives a few optional exercises to try at the end of each chapter. If you don’t have time to read, her two TED talks are a great option.

favourite reads 2013Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth by Walter Brueggemann. This is a book of poem prayers that a friend recommended and wow, both John and I were drawn to the raw honesty and piercing accuracy of our human ways. We read them aloud at dinner although I think it would probably be more worthwhile to read them with a journal handy. They’re beautiful and they really make you think. It’s good to be sort of “jarred” out of our normal approach to prayer.

favourite reads 2013The Lost Art of Lingering by Rowland Forman. This is a very practical, gentle guide to mutual mentoring and is packed full of resources on the topic of living the Christian life together. A good friend recommended this to me and it was a perfect refresher course for me after not reading anything on mentoring since college. Like, Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands by Paul Tripp, it’s a good reminder that we’re all supposed to be ministering to each other.

 

 

Children

favourite reads 2013How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlich. Wow, this book was fascinating and worth reading whether or not you’re a parent. The material in here can be applied with any kids you know and regularly hang out with. It’s easy to read with cartoon illustrations of their points and lots of great examples that put their ideas into context for you. I got it out on CD for John to listen to and he stopped it after only the first 20 minutes to talk about it with me because there was already so much good stuff to discuss.

favourite reads 2013Raising Cain by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson. There are some great resources out there on boys and emotional intelligence so I’m not sure if I liked this one best because I read it first or because of the title, but it was an excellent overview of how boys are often raised to be “emotionally illiterate” and how this can increase school troubles etc. There was quite a bit in there about how our school systems are not supporting how boys learn and grow. I find anything about educational theory and systems fascinating so that was very helpful for me.

favourite reads 2013How Children Raise Parents by Dan Allender. Just listened to this one on CD and it seemed like a short “read” – only 3 CDs. What I appreciated most about this book was the fact that we will fail as parents and that this is to be expected. His big points are that children have two main questions, “Am I loved?” and “Can I have it my way?” which we need to answer with a “yes” and “no” respectively. This is not a “how-to” book at all but it was a great perspective on how parenting changes us and how our children teach us.

Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki. This isn’t on Amazon, so no picture. It’s a pdf book that I just read and I loved it. I’ve browsed through multiple potty-training books recently and they all seem a bit scared to pull any punches. They present options but don’t really want to tell you how to do it. This book is not scared to call it all like it is. I loved her emphasis on capability rather than the nebulous concept of “readiness”, how she blocks out the learning process and all the little tips and tricks to troubleshoot various issues.

 

Business/Coaching

favourite reads 2013Sticking Points by Hadyn Shaw. I blogged about this one here. This is a book every business needs to have on hand because every business is likely dealing with generational issues (actually it would probably be just as helpful for churches and extended families!). Shaw is fair to each generation and helps each generation see where the other generation is coming from. As a millennial, I’m sensitive to the fact that our generation is constantly under a microscope in the media. This book is an urgently-needed thoughtful counterbalance to a lot of the stuff floating around out there.

favourite reads 2013You Already Know How to Be Great by Alan Fine. Sounds cheesy I know. But his major point for coaches was that often our clients already know what they need to do and potentially even how to do it. They may not need more training or teaching (in fact that might make them perform worse – I talk a little about that here). What they really need help with is simply clearing out the noise and interference to help them focus effectively. He has a great model to use in coaching conversations that I have found effective in every day conversations as well.

The Advantage by Patrick Lencioni. I also blogged about this one here. This is one of those books that you wish every CEO was required to read before becoming CEO. It lays out very clear exercises to help leaderships teams get clarity and unity so that they can communicate effectively with those they lead. It all seems so simple when you read these kind of books and then you look around and wonder why it so rarely gets implemented. Possibly because it’s one of those very-hard-but-extremely-worthwhile things to do.

favourite reads 2013Switch by Chip and Dan Heath. Loved this book and all the other ones they’ve written as well. Great stories, simple but powerful concepts. I wrote about one of them here. These guys are so interesting and practical.

 

 

What were your favourite reads in 2013?

P.S. Disclosure: All image links are affiliate links so if you click on them and buy one of the books, Amazon pays me a few cents.

The Birkman Method Book & Free Personal Report

The Birkman Method Book and Personal ReportSo I’ve been doing this small series (see here, here and here) on how the Birkman Method plays out in our lives in order to get you excited about reading this book. The current CEO, Sharon Birkman Fink, recently published a book appropriately titled, The Birkman Method: Your Personality at Work and it includes a free personal report (I believe it’s a condensed version). I was sent a free autographed copy in exchange for a review. Since I already have my own report I would like to give this copy away to a reader! Now is a good time to be excited.

The book explains each of the eleven behavioral components that the Birkman Method measures as well as the interest scores. It gives you many great stories and examples of how people have used the information in their reports to solve problems and work more effectively. Even though I have my certification as a consultant, I found the illustrations so helpful in broadening my understanding of how this tool can be put to good use. For those who are unfamiliar with the Birkman Method, it is a great overview and introduction to the material and what you can do with it. You’ll find that it’s a quick, easy read.

I think my favourite takeaway from the book was a point repeated once at the beginning and once at the end:

While certain unique behaviors and customs are taught in different cultures, the more important underlying motivation and needs that drive people are shared around the globe. In other words, we humans are more alike than we realize, more similar than we are different. There is consistently more diversity within any one group than there is among groups (p. 10).

The difference among individuals in any particular nationality are much greater than any differences among nationalities (p. 155).

This is such an important truth for us to absorb as our communities and workplaces become more globalized and culturally diverse. It’s something we need to remind ourselves of, whenever we feel tempted to think in “us vs. them” terms. Underneath the cultural differences in behavior we might see, we are much more similar in our motivations and needs than we think. And that means that no matter how strange it might feel, it is possible for us to relate and connect with people anywhere on earth. In fact, we should seek to find those common bonds wherever we can.

If you would like to win my free copy of The Birkman Method and get your free personal report, all you need to do is leave a comment that interacts with this blog post. I will select a winner out of a hat and send you the book! If you would like to get a full Birkman report and enjoy a consultation with me, then check out my services page and contact me. You can also continue reading more about The Birkman Method on this page. You can also check out the beautifully redesigned Birkman website for more info.

UPDATE: Forgot to mention I am giving this book away on Monday the 30th! So you have until Monday lunch to leave a comment that will be entered into the drawing.

Creating Culture whether “Sacred” or “Secular”

As a bit of a follow-up to the last post, I wanted to share this excerpt from Andy Crouch’s Culture-Making – it’s a fabulous book, you should read it – and he’s coming out with a new one called Playing God which I can’t wait to get my hands on. This part is describing his time doing campus ministry at Harvard:

We labored under a subtle but real dichotomy between sacred and secular, granting full legitimacy only to callings to “ministry” under the pretext of subverting Harvard’s lure to wealth, fame and power. So we recruited more than one young associate with the rhetoric of renouncing their ambitions (we called it “leaving their nets”), only to see them struggle doggedly to produce the kind of abundance we had promised. More than one eventually left us and took up “secular” jobs – where they found a sense of freedom and joy that they had never experienced in our demanding company of workers for the gospel.

Is it possible to participate in culture, to create culture, outside of the church and experience every bit as much divine multiplication as those who work inside the church? For centuries many Christians would have answered no. A few had “vocations” – a word that still today, in Catholic contexts, refers to a specifically religious life – and the rest did not. To have a vocation was to withdraw to the edges of culture . . .

But there are two serious problems with this approach to vocation. First, even a full-time sacred agenda turns out to be no guarantee of either holiness or fruitfulness. Segmenting off a “sacred” set of cultural activities sets us up for disillusionment when the sacred specialists turn out to be no more creative and no less corruptible than their secular counterparts. Second, it becomes impossible to do justice to the biblical story, in which the whole world was created good, the first human beings were given a cultural task, not just instructed to be dutiful worshipers (unlike in other creation myths of the time), and the Son of God himself spend most of his life as a carpenter.

The religious or secular nature of our cultural creativity is simply the wrong question. The right question is whether, when we undertake the work we belie to be our vocation, we experience the joy and humility that come only when God multiplies our work so that it bears thirty, sixty and a hundredfold beyond what we could expect from our feeble inputs. Vocation – calling – becomes another word for a continual process of discernment,  examining the fruits of our work to see whether they are producing that kind of fruit, and doing all we can to scatter the next round of seed in the most fruitful places.

I would love to see more conversations taking place that help us “subvert the lure of wealth, fame and power” within the context of normal jobs and daily life. I also love the idea that we should ask whether we are experiencing joy and humility in our work.

The Reason for Work

Every Good Endeavor by Tim Keller: The Reason for WorkI finally checked Tim Keller’s book Every Good Endeavor off my reading list this week (good grief – I got it for Christmas!) and it was excellent! This is a must-read for anyone who is wondering what the reason for work is. Keller writes the book with Katherine Leary Alsdorf, the director of the Center for Faith & Work at his church, Redeemer Presbyterian in New York, and you can definitely tell that between the two of them, they have an exceptional understanding of the questions their congregation is asking about the meaning of work.

I want to share just a few of the things that I found most encouraging:

The book starts with a retelling of Tolkien’s short story “Leaf by Niggle” in which a painter fails to realize his dream of painting a tree during his lifetime. He completes only a few leaves by the time he dies and is saddened to think his dream will never be realized. Imagine his joy when he sees the very tree he has always envisioned, real and living, as he enters heaven. Keller writes, “But really – everyone is Niggle. Everyone imagines accomplishing things, and everyone finds him-or herself largely incapable of producing them.”

Later on Keller returns to this theme, writing: “What do we mean when we say work is fruitless? We mean that, in all our work, we will be able to envision far more than we can accomplish, both because of a lack of ability and because of resistance in the environment around us.” A few pages later he adds, “You should expect to be regularly frustrated in your work even though you may be in exactly the right vocation.”

This might not seem encouraging to you but it should be. Leaf by Niggle, “was Tolkien’s way of saying, to us as well as himself, that our deepest aspirations in work will come to complete fruition in God’s future.” What could be more encouraging than that? “The wonderful truth is that, “If the God of the Bible exists . . . and this life is not the only life, then every good endeavor, even the simplest ones, pursued in response to God’s calling, can matter forever.” This is the perspective I cling to as I move through the frustrations and failures of my work in the present.

Please read this book if you’re wondering about your reasons to work, the reason for work in general, what your calling is and how to be a Christian in your work.

Sticking Points: 4 Generations Working Together

GenerationsBack in July, my good friend Marie lent me her advance copy of Sticking Points: How to Get 4 Generations Working Together in the 12 Places They Come Apart by Hadyn Shaw. Now that it’s out and available for everyone, I wanted to let you all know that you need to buy this book now!

It’s a quick read and you can easily jump around as needed. Shaw provides a simple five step model for working through the sticking points: acknowledge, appreciate, flex, leverage, and resolve. In each chapter he provides an example of putting the five steps into action.

Especially important is the “flex” step. Shaw differentiates between business necessity and generational preference again and again, highlighting how often managers think doing things one way is a necessity when actually it doesn’t really affect business. He defines necessity as anything that will make you lose your foot, customer, money, or funding. Everything else is simply preference.

Each generation also gets a chapter that describes their “ghost stories”  or the formative events and experiences of each generation that consequently influence them in the work place. The second part details the 12 sticking points he discusses:

  • communication
  • decision making
  • dress code
  • feedback
  • fun at work
  • knowledge transfer
  • loyalty
  • meetings
  • policies
  • respect
  • training
  • work ethic

Some other interesting takeaways for me were:

  • Shaw explains that these days people believe you’re not an adult until 28 (both older generations and Millennials think this)! Instead of bemoaning how lazy and unambitious Millennials are, he points out that in the pre-war childhood of the Traditionalist generation, life on the farm offered you ways to contribute meaningfully and see the fruit of your labor from very early on. That’s simply not the case in today’s environment where meaningful contribution and seeing the fruit of your labour is sometimes assumed to only come after at least five years of paying your dues post-college.
  • He notes that parents treat their Millennial kids well (Millennials and their parents are often good friends) but then gripe about their Millennial employees’ behavior. He terms this the “half-step back” problem: when you start managing, you take a half-step back in to the older generation because that’s who trained you. So you manage from an older generational mindset than how you parent.
  • His main suggestion for leaders who are running into these generational sticking points is to forget trying to manage the issue with top-down policy decisions. Instead, gather a task force with a rep from each generation to hash out the “sticking points” your organization faces. They’ll come up with a plan that will have more buy-in from everyone.

I’ve read quite a few books on generations now and while Shaw can’t and doesn’t take the time to go into all the nuances of each generation, he definitely captures them fairly. As a Millennial, I especially appreciated this since so many articles and books about Millennials in the workplace tend to only paint us negatively. I highly recommend getting this and discussing it at your workplace!

The Curse of Knowledge

Curse of KnowledgeSummer is in full swing here. This July has been one of the best I’ve seen here in Seattle which should explain my lack of blog posts. We’ve been enjoying the great outdoors, seeing friends, doing projects and reading too many books. Yes, you read that right. I am admitting that I’ve been on a bit of a book binge. It’s really all the library’s fault. Sometimes the books I request at the library become available all at once and I have to speed through them because there are more holds and I can’t renew them. A terrible problem, I know.

But the funny thing is, I have felt a bit convicted by two of the books I read that all this knowledge-cramming may be bad for me.

Dan and Chip Heath’s book Made to Stick calls it the “Curse of Knowledge” and explains how the more we learn and become an expert in a topic, the more we see and understand the nuances and complexities. This isn’t a problem until we try to explain our knowledge to someone who doesn’t know the first thing about our topic. At that point, the Curse of Knowledge makes it difficult for us to refocus on the core information a novice is likely to need. We see all the complexities and nuances as essential and have trouble simplifying our knowledge to its essentials. It’s like trying to write a proverb when you want to write a book.

Alan Fine’s book You Already Know How to be Great calls it “+K” and talks about how we assume that enhancing performance comes from taking innate capability and adding knowledge (+K). He writes about his experiences as a tennis coach and how he realized one day that all the knowledge he was trying to impart to his students was actually interfering with their performance rather than aiding it. He saw that when they were focused on trying to remember and execute all of his tips, they actually performed worse than when they didn’t have the knowledge. His epiphany was that performance was best enhanced by removing interference rather than adding knowledge. He realized that his coaching methods had to change because he was part of the interference!

I love to know more but I realize that I can get caught up in all the details and nuance rather than taking the time to focus on the core. I can get lost in reading up on how to improve my work instead of actually doing my work.

It was a good reminder for me that sometimes “more knowledge” is not the answer even though I always want it to be. Instead, both books recommend asking questions rather than giving advice (or wanting someone to just tell you what to do). Questions drill down to the priorities and help us refocus so that we can take action rather than remaining paralyzed.

Asking ourselves questions can be difficult and painful so it’s often best to process questions with someone else. That’s why Spiritual Directors exist. That’s what coaches are really for: facilitating the questions process in the individual, rather than handing out knowledge that is unlikely to stick.

What are you learning this week? What questions are you asking yourself?